Will My Arms Fall Off?

**This is the ongoing story of becoming a police officer in my forties and then becoming The Bad Luck Detective. It’s best to start with the first post.

After receiving our binders Sgt. Dickens reviewed the class rules. We would be spending eight hours a day in the classroom. Everything we learned throughout the week would be covered in a test on Monday mornings. We were expected to get a seventy percent or higher. If not, we would be given one retake. If we did not pass the retake with a seventy percent we would be sent home immediately.

We were expected to pass POPAT (Police Officers Physical Aptitude Test).

A 99 yard obstacle course

Body Drag – Lift and drag a 165 lb. lifelike dummy 32 feet

500 Yard Run

Chain Link Fence – Run 5 yards, go over fence and run an additional 25 yards

Solid Fence Climb – Run 5 yards, go over solid fence and run an additional 25 yards

The nightmare six-foot fence was now on the table. Each event was timed and higher points were given for lower times. The minimum passing score was 384. Men and women were scored equally. Age did not matter. If we scored a 383 we were going home. I think I liked the Cooper Test better. Oh yeah, we had to pass the Cooper Test as well.

There would be no fraternizing with college men or women including each other. If caught we would be sent home. We would tell the truth at all times, if we were caught in any lie we would be sent home. We would attend every class. If we missed more than three class days, we would be sent home. There were so many “you will be sent home rules” it’s hard to remember them all.

We would keep our dorm rooms spotless and have a dorm inspection weekly. All home work would be turned in on time. Our notebooks would be inspected weekly. We would be given daily uniform inspections. We were to be outside on the back classroom deck at 0745 each morning and inspection ready. Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays we would meet in the gym at 0530 hours for Physical Training (PT). On Tuesday and Thursdays we would meet at the same time for Defensive Tactics (DT). These classes would last an hour and a half, giving us 45-minutes to eat breakfast, change into our uniform of the day and arrive for inspection on the deck. Infractions would be severally punished. Punishment hill runs (whatever that was) would take place after class at 1700 hours daily. We were not to leave campus unless we had permission.  There was an absolute ban on cell phones during the day.

After this set of rules and instructions were yelled out, we were marched to the gym. It was time to learn a few military formations and some of the terminology. Sgt. Dickens continued to yell and we eventually got it. It was hot in the gym; I don’t think the college had turned on the air conditioner. I'm pretty sure we were dying. Eventually the first cadet dropped. He passed out in a dead faint. An ambulance was called and we got a break. There were two water fountains and we took turns getting water and wetting our heads and necks. No one spoke; we were all being watched closely.

The "lucky" cadet was taken to the hospital about 15-minutes later. We were told it was time for our first inspection. We lined up by squad. This would be our formation throughout the academy. Squad one would place their right arm towards the person beside them with their fingertips touching the shoulder. The rest of us would then line up behind the person in front of us.

We were shown how to stand at attentions and then at ease with our hands behind our backs and one palm crossing the other. We were told to stand without locking our legs or we would also be taking a trip to the hospital. 

The two Sergeants and their helpers (a.k.a. our squad advisers) began going person to person and finding something wrong. My hair was barely staying up and I could feel it touching the back of my neck.

I could sense someone close behind me and then the back of my hair was tugged, hard.

“Sgt. Dickens, it appears we have a bird’s nest in squad five.” It was yelled into my ear.

I couldn’t help it I giggled. This was something I did when nervous and was a habit I’d had all my life. I broke the habit that day.

“Cadet, are you laughing? Do you find this funny? Give me twenty pushups now. As a matter of fact, I want the entire class to give me twenty pushups. Quarter right turn, assume pushup position. Begin.”

We were so tired. Someone stopped doing pushups at the count of fourteen and we had to start again. The inspection continued and when finished we had done a total of 94 pushups. My arms wanted to fall off.

After inspection, we were shown the location of our dorms at the eastern end of the campus. We were then marched to the cafeteria. I don’t even remember eating. Not a word was spoken. The Sergeants and advisors sat at their own table. We huddled together miserably at whatever empty seat we came to first. It was 1800 hours. We had only been at it for five hours. This sucked.

I tried to eat. I could barely lift my fork to my mouth. I ate very little. After about twenty-minutes we resumed our formation outside. We double timed it back to the dorms. I was thankful I didn’t eat much. We were finally released for the day, and told to be at the gym at 0530 hours.

Getting our room assignments, unpacking, and arranging the shower schedules were done next. There were a total of four women. Our dorm was tiny with two bunk beds. We decided to switch ever two weeks so we each took turns on the top bunk. We would share one bathroom.  

After getting situated, Stacy left the room with her cell phone in hand. She came back an hour later and said she was going back to Montana. She left. I never heard from her again. This really sucked!