Jumping Hurdles

The week seemed to drag by. My husband could do nothing right and my kids were driving me nuts, my son most of all. He actually told me I was an embarrassment to our family. I knew if I slapped him he would call the police just to ruin my nearly perfect background.

I looked up Cooper Standards on the Internet. It’s divided by male and female, it factors in age and has a superior, excellent, good, fair, poor and very poor standard. If I used the good category I needed to perform a 17.7 inch vertical jump, 28 sit ups and 15 push ups in one minute, run 300 meters in 72 seconds and 1.5 miles in 13 minutes and 58 seconds. Were they out of their cotton picking minds?

I was averaging a 14 minute mile and thought that was good. The sit ups and push ups would be easy, I thought but I had no clue on the 300 meters and the vertical jump. I decided to head to the high school track and start timing myself. Maybe I could push it up a notch or two. I called Veronica for moral support. It took me five minutes to get there and she was waiting.

It was probably my hardest workout. I was beginning to think I might not have it in me. Veronica was a drill sergeant and wouldn’t let up. The entire week continued this way. I shaved a minute off my mile but the extra ½ mile was going to kill me.

My phone rang at precisely 0800 hours on Monday morning. I was asked to meet at the track at 0800 the following day. I decided to give my body a rest and take it easy. I jumped on the scale and was down another five pounds. I had fifteen more to go.

The following day was overcast, cold and gloomy. I again arrived early but this time got out of my car and went to do my stretches. Veronica taught me the value of stretching my old tired body. She just looked so much better doing them than I did.

Everyone began arriving, that is all five of us, three men and two women. The other female was a spunky little thing. She didn’t say too much to me mostly just flirted with the guys. I’ll call one Mr. Muscle, and the other two, Curly and Mo. Miss Pony Tail round out our crew. Sergeant Spears told us we would be doing the push ups and sit ups first.

The other four recruits (see I was learning the terminology) chose each other as partners. I was left with Sgt. Spears. I actually finished in the excellent category according to Cooper. Next was the vertical jump. I managed 18 inches and raised Sgt. Spear’s eyebrows. It was the only test I beat Miss Pony Tail on. Next, we had the 300 meter run. I finished in 70 seconds, two seconds to spare. We then had the mile and a half run. I gave it everything I had. It didn’t matter that I finished last I just wanted to finish under my time. Mr. Muscle stopped running about halfway through and walked a lap. He still beat me. Curly also walked part of the way and finished before I did. I missed my time by 35 seconds. It put me in the fair category. I didn’t know if it was enough but I gave it everything I had.

Sgt. Spears said he would call us all tomorrow. I went home and ate a bowl of ice cream. I then ate another bowl but added chocolate syrup on top. I hid my crime by washing and drying the bowl and spoon. It was hard to disguise an empty ice cream carton but I figured it would be blamed on my son.

I tossed and turned all night. Before my husband left he told me not to feel bad that I didn’t accomplish my goal. He said I needed to pick something a little more attainable the next time. I was called early and asked to come into the station at 0900.

Sgt. Spears did not look happy. I was the only one there. He asked me to sit, I sat.

“Look, I don’t think you have what it takes. I don’t think you’ll survive a week at the academy. You don’t seem tough enough and this is a tough business. I think you showed guts though by going this far. I had two young strong men stop running yesterday and take it easy when they could have done better. I don’t think you could have done better but you never stopped. Those two men are out of the program. That leaves three of you. I’m going to include you in the poly and psych test. I also want you to have the physical exam. I’ll give you a chance. You showed “heart” and sometimes as police professionals, that’s all we have.”

That was it. I thanked him and told him I was available for the tests. I left, called Veronica and took her out to lunch to give her the news. I was not in yet but I was a step closer. Veronica began crying and told me she was so proud. At that moment I was happy Veronica’s mother didn’t drown her at birth for being so perfect. She was just what I needed.